what a day.

so today is one of those days where i find myself angry at the world when i should just be angry at myself. everyone just seems to be pushing my buttons, but i really don't have a reason to be angry. well, i do have a reason, but it's not really a good one. god when will i learn to adapt to situations that i don't always agree with. speaking of god, i yelled at him today. there wasn't really a reason for it, just one of those days where i put all my troubles on him. it wasn't fair, i admit, but neither is life.

i love my baby brother. i just don't always want to deal with him. i love all my siblings, but to be honest, i would rather it be like it used to be, before everything became complicated. before the tears, and before the baby. before the fights and before the depression. i never cut myself. i was strong in that aspect, but i should have been stronger in others.

i don't cry. i haven't cried in a while and i'm glad. i don't want to be weak.
wait that came out wrong, i dont want to seem vulnerable.

i haven't been to church in a while. god knows i need to go, i've just been in that kind of state of mind where you don't feel like doing anything.

i'm so sick of my life right now.
i want something new, something fresh.
maybe i should try out for another sport.

stay classy.

the makings of me

i'm tired of this life.
i can't sleep again.
at least not by myself.
it's weird, i never used to have these kind of feelings.

i'm trying not to get on the computer as much, the internet has never really done me much good.'
can you guys believe that i'm typing this without looking at the keyboard?
pretty amazing. (;

i wonder what other people think of me.
so far when people usually say snobby or picky.

i don't think i'm either of those things, but then again, does a killer think of himself as insane?

i don't pray much anymore.
only when i need something.
that's not fair though.
i shouldn't just use God only when i need him.
he's never used me.
well, at least not in a bad way.

why are atheists so mean to christians?
why do they feel the need to feel superior by pointing out the "flaws' in religion.
it doesn't make them look smart.

it makes them look like assholes.

i would never criticize anyone's religion, and whenever i'm tempted to i ask myself,
"why should people be made to feel small because of something that they honestly believe in?"
i would hate it if someone did it to me.

i dunno, maybe i just am too opinonated.

stay classy.