what a day.

so today is one of those days where i find myself angry at the world when i should just be angry at myself. everyone just seems to be pushing my buttons, but i really don't have a reason to be angry. well, i do have a reason, but it's not really a good one. god when will i learn to adapt to situations that i don't always agree with. speaking of god, i yelled at him today. there wasn't really a reason for it, just one of those days where i put all my troubles on him. it wasn't fair, i admit, but neither is life.

i love my baby brother. i just don't always want to deal with him. i love all my siblings, but to be honest, i would rather it be like it used to be, before everything became complicated. before the tears, and before the baby. before the fights and before the depression. i never cut myself. i was strong in that aspect, but i should have been stronger in others.

i don't cry. i haven't cried in a while and i'm glad. i don't want to be weak.
wait that came out wrong, i dont want to seem vulnerable.

i haven't been to church in a while. god knows i need to go, i've just been in that kind of state of mind where you don't feel like doing anything.

i'm so sick of my life right now.
i want something new, something fresh.
maybe i should try out for another sport.

stay classy.